I Have Triumphed!

Okay, so some of you may have read the post I wrote about my very first day as a substitute teacher. While it didn't necessarily go badly, I didn't truly feel that it had gone well, and I was unreasonably disappointed with myself over it.  But this week I had the chance to redeem myself!  I had an assignment on Thursday to sub at the same school for another of my DH's colleagues in the science department.  I knew beforehand that each class would be watching videos.  I had mixed feelings about this, since I didn't know how well they would behave or if they would pay attention.  I was relieved to see that this teacher left me detailed instructions on class procedures (like using the restroom, etc) and she left a seating chart.  I heart Ms. B!  That seating chart made a world of difference. It's a lot easier to get their attention and let them know you mean business when you "magically" know their names.  And I was able to start the class off in a firm manner and let them know that I was the boss by making them sit in their assigned seats.  They didn't know I had a seating chart and were again "amazed" by how I knew where they were supposed to be sitting.  That seating chart made it so much easier to learn their names to!  And this time I was able to be assertive and actually speak loudly enough to be well-heard.  I was on a roll! 

When I got to the classroom and went over the notes for the day, I was very glad to see that the teacher had provided worksheets for the students to complete as they watched the video.  It was a great way to force them to pay attention to the video and for me to have a legitimate reason to make them keep quiet.  After all, they had to watch the video in order to answer all those questions!  The physics class in particular had a quite lengthy questionnaire to complete.  This was no joke, to be sure.  The video they watched was actually pretty interesting too.  It was called Einstein's Big Idea, and it was way better than any boring documentary-type stuff we ever watched in school.  I was amazed at how well they all behaved.  There was plenty of "let's see if we can fool the sub" action going on in the first class, (and I had been warned repeatedly by other teachers that this class was the worst of the day) but it was easy to see they were just trying to have fun and weren't being malicious in any way.  With the exception of two students who refused to stop talking despite many warnings and who I eventually had to separate, the class went incredibly well in my opinion. The rest of the classes were the same.  It was such a relief!  Now I can feel that my first experience was not due to a failing in myself.  I don't completely suck at subbing! 

While I was there for that sub assignment, one of the other science teachers came over to my room to ask if I was available the next day, so I ended up with two jobs in a row!  The first and last classes were to watch the movie Osmosis Jones, and the middle class was to take a test and then start on the lab write-ups for the lab they had done the day before.  Mr. M told me that they didn't have to watch the movie if they didn't want to, so long as if they chose to talk they kept the volume down enough to not disturb anyone else who did want to watch the movie.  I amended these instructions when I got to class that morning, as I felt letting them know they could talk would just be asking for trouble.  I knew I'd spend the entire day doing volume control.  They didn't have to answer any questions about the movie, and it was definitley just something to keep them occupied while he was out for the day.  I instead told them they could study or work on homework for another class, or sleep, if they didn't want to watch the movie, and that they only thing they HAD to do was be quiet.  And miraculously nobody had any problems with this at all.  Almost all of them watched the movie (and enjoyed it - it seems to be a favorite among high school students) and not ONCE did I have to ask anyone to be quiet.  Even the class that worked on their lab write-ups after their testing worked quietly with only whispers among lab partners.  I was amazed.  It was great to finish these assignments, and the week, on a positive note. 

The Results - My Sub Assignment

Okay, so Friday was my very first time in the classroom as something other than a student.  My very first substitute teacher assignment.  I was glad that it was going to be in the school where my DH works because I was familiar with it and wouldn't feel so out of place.  I was not so keen to have the class be Chemistry, since I knew I wouldn't be able to really help any of the students if they needed it.  This was a high school assignment and therefore I only had three 90-minute classes.  The notes were clear and everything was laid out neatly and easy to find.  That was a relief! 

The first two classes went surprisingly well.  They had a quiz in the first class and after that was taken up they were to start on a project Mrs. W had already explained to them the day before.  Thankfully one of the other science teachers (and my friend!) came by after the quiz and offered to go over the directions of the assignment with them again to make sure they understood what they were supposed to be doing.  They students were glad to have that, and I'm glad I didn't have to try to explain it myself, since about a third of what Mr. S said sounded like a foreign language.  I could hear this voice in my head that sounded strangely like Charlie Brown's teacher.  Wah-wah wah. Wah wah wah-wah.  My eyes probably glazed over and a bit of drool may have escaped my slack-jawed mouth.  But maybe not.  They got to work and I let them group together if they wanted and help each other out and talk.  They didn't give me any problems and I felt things went okay. 

The second and third classes were working on the same project, which they had started on the day before.  This class was slightly larger, and they were very talkative, but I was pleasantly surprised that the talk seemed almost entirely related to the assignment as they worked.  According to Mrs. W's notes, she didn't think they would get to the gluing stage of the project, but a few of them actually completed the assignment! 

I'm very glad that the third class was not the one to start my day.  They were rowdy, loud, and lazy.  Some of the students did their work and kept to themselves, but most of them just socialized and didn't even pretend to work.  I had to confiscate a balloon near the beginning of class because 4 students were playing beach ball with it.  I gave them a warning and when they ignored that, I took the balloon.  They still didn't bother to do any work.  Needless to say, not a single person in this class finished the assignment or even came close.  I feel I should mention that Friday was Cappuccino Day.  Someone genius had the bright idea to sell cappuccino and muffins in the library all day so the students can get loaded up on caffeine and sugar.  It's supposed to help raise money for the library, and does a good job of that.  Apparently some teachers take their classes down to the library so they can partake, and some students also go between classes.  I'm sure you can imagine a classroom full of already rambunctious students, on a Friday afternoon, last class of the day, who have spent the past several hours getting hopped up on several helpings of coffee and giant muffins.  I'm surprised I didn't have to peel them off the ceiling.  About 5 to 10 minutes before the final bell, a mass of students started heading to the door like they were just going to walk out.  I told them I hadn't heard the bell yet, and they tried to convince me that Mrs. W always lets them leave early.  Riiiiight. 

While I don't feel I necessarily screwed anything up, I do think I could have done better.  I felt okay at the time, but by the time it was all over and my mind was reviewing it, I realized that I should have done more, especially with that last class.  I'm not an assertive person at all, and I know that is something I need to work on. I'm shy by nature, and if I'm not comfortable in my environment I can be downright timid.  I hate that about myself.  But if I have any more classes like that last one, I'm going to need to be downright aggressive, not just assertive, to get any sort of command of the room.  It was small consolation that they act the same way for Mrs. W because she doesn't have the best classroom management skills.  I guess I should feel better to know they are always like that, and not just because I didn't do a good job, but I really don't.  I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, especially since it was MY VERY FIRST DAY.  I've never even been a teacher's assistant.  My DH says if I didn't have to send anyone out of the classroom, call for help from another teacher, or call for an administrator, than I did well.  I can be a perfectionist, so I don't quite agree.  But I'm trying to.  I was surprised that the students had no idea they were going to have a sub that day.  Mrs. W had called me earlier in the week to request me, so it was definitely a planned absence.  Maybe it wouldn't have made any difference in their behavior, but I think it might have made it go a little more smoothly. 

I wasn't really nervous about the job so much as I'd thought I'd be, but I felt so freaking awkward the whole time.  I felt like an intruder, and while I know it is my job to be the teacher and lead the classroom while I'm subbing, it just doesn't feel right.  I don't know how she runs her classroom, what policy she has for things like going to the restroom, etc.  And these students don't know me any more than I know them.  With nearly 30 students in each class, calling roll is not enough to allow me to learn their names.  

Ugh.

My First Sub Assignment!

Tomorrow morning is my first assignment as a substitute teacher.  Ack!  I'm nervous but I'm trying really hard to think positive and imagine how well it's going to go.  Thankfully this is at the high school where my DH works, and is in fact in the room right next door.  :)  All 3 classes are Chemistry - NOT a subject I have any fondness or talent for.  Hopefully the students won't need any real help from me.  I'm really glad my first assignment is in a familiar school and on a hall where I know several of the other teachers.  I tend to get all stressed out and anxious about things because I can't seem to help but fret about all the details and what could go wrong.  It will hopefully help to get an assignment under my belt. Wish me luck!

Image found here.

Substitute Workshop!

So tomorrow morning I report to the district office for a Substitute Teacher Workshop.  !! There were no interviews of any kind - I just sent in my documentation and completed the online application.  But since my DH has told me repeatedly that "they'll let any idiot sub" I assume that I'm considered hired if I'm chosen for the workshop. There are supposed to be 60 openings.  I had contacted the head of HR to verify that they got my application and documents a couple weeks ago, and she told me I would be receiving a postcard.  That postcard never came, but I contacted her again this past Monday to verify that I was indeed expected for the workshop and to see what information I needed for tomorrow.  It's not a very comforting sign that the very first step in this processing was botched when I didn't receive the notification postcard.  Did mine just happen to get lost in the mail?  Did they forget to print it and mail it?  Will I get in the mail tomorrow - a day late and a dollar short?  For someone like me who likes to know ALL the details in advance so I can prepare (and worry) this is not a good start.  I wonder if there is anyone else who didn't get their postcard.  Am I going to have a lot of competition, or will I fit right in with this new batch of sub recruits?  How many of us will have absolutely no experience?  I don't even have kids, so I can't even draw on parenting experience.  I sure hope I get some easy assignments with well-behaved kids first so I can ease my way into it.  I hate that I'm freaking out about it.  I'm trying real hard to keep the anxiety at bay, but it's sneaking in on sly wings.  GET THEE BEHIND ME, ANXIETY!  I wonder how long it will be before I get an assignment.  If there are 60 of us new recruits at the workshop, plus the existing supply of subs, that's an awful lot of subs.  It will be interesting to see how many jobs I get between now and the end of the school year.  I do know that my DH will be requesting me to sub for him while he's chaperoning Grad Nite in Disney World.  (I'd much rather trade places and get a free trip to Disney!)

It will be interesting to see exactly what this "workshop" entails.  I have absolutely NO information on what we'll be doing.  I have to bring my SSN card and a voided check, so I imagine at least some of it will involve filling out employment paperwork.  But the word "workshop" implies that we'll actually learn something. (Or am I being naive?) I hope it's more than just how to use SmartFind Express, the automated calling system they use.  I found an online tutorial for that a few months ago and have already got it all figured out.  (Did I mention how much I love information?) I'm going to have to pack some snacks, too.  I don't know if this is a half-day, full-day, or just a few hours.  Ooh, maybe we'll do a bunch of cheesy role-playing activities!  I hear they do that for regular teacher workshops sometimes.  I've gotta tell you, if I hear we're going to be doing a trust fall, I don't think I'll be able to keep a straight face.  I wonder if they'd let me bring my camera and take pictures. Hmmm...  Hey, maybe I can do that when I'm subbing too!  It might help me get over being nervous.  Plus I can tell the kids if they misbehave I'll put embarrassing pictures of them on my blog.  Heehee!  :) 

Dream Day Friday! Episode I

Today folks, you will get to witness the overzealous ramblings of my daydreaming mind!  This example of my daydreaming-ness is actually quite mild compared to many of my mental shenanigans. 

Background: Anyone who has read my blog before probably knows that I'm doing my best to get a job as an art teacher.  Unfortunately, since I don't have an education degree or teacher certification, I have to either worm my way into an alternative certification program or go back to school to get my MAT (Master of Arts in Teaching).  Ideally, I would prefer to go back to school so that I could actually learn HOW to teach and handle a classroom.  If I do the alternative certification (PACE), I'd just be tossed into a classroom with little to no preparation and I'd have to wing it for 3 years, after which I'd get my permanent certification.  Assuming I fulfilled all the requirements and passed all my evaluations, that is.  It is assumed that if I can do that then I am fully capable of teaching and they'll let me have my certification despite my lack of educator training.

I've been working toward doing alternative certification since March 2009.  At the time I had a job and didn't see how it would be feasible for me to quit to get my Masters.  I couldn't work and go to school at the same time because I couldn't be in two places at once.  It was hard enough to figure out how to pay for the schooling if I KEPT my job, and quitting my job to go back to school would only make it that much harder to pay for it.  There was lots of dreaming about winning the lottery. If I could just win enough to cover tuition, books, and fees, and all that other stuff they charge you for, plus cover 2 years of lost wages so that I could still pay my bills while I was in school and not working... 

That mushroomed into imagining winning enough in the lottery so I could pay tuition, cover lost wages, and pay off our mortgage, car payments, previous student loans, make upgrades and repairs to the house, and so on. And of course I'm listing and picturing in my mind specific things I want to do for the house (including some major landscaping with someone to help come up with a design and other people to do all the work).  At that point I decided that if I'm going to win the lottery, I may as well imagine winning the Big Kahuna - the Powerball Jackpot!  Which would of course be at least $300 million at the time, I'd be the only winner so I wouldn't have to share it with another winner, and I'd be able to do all the things I'd listed before AND help out all my family, friends, and favorite charities!  Then I realized that since I had all these millions I wouldn't even HAVE to work anymore, so I would go back to school just to take classes for fun.  Oh, and I'd move to Hawaii of course.  Duh.  :)

Can Kids Smell Fear?

I've been working toward becoming an art teacher over the past year.  I have a degree in Art Studio, but never took any education courses.  South Carolina has something called PACE, Program of Alternative Certification for Educators, that allows people without a degree in education to earn their certification while teaching on a temporary certificate.  I've been approved for the program and am now eligible for hire as an art teacher.  But of course with this economy they are letting teachers go, not hiring them.  So until they have a position for me to apply for, I'm in limbo.  I'm trying to get into substitute teaching in the interim so I can get my feet wet and have some experience to put on my resume.  Trial by fire, if you will.  I'm more scared of subbing than I am of having my own classroom! Classroom management can be a challenge for any teacher, but for a substitute who is only a temporary teacher?  That's just asking for the students to go crazy. I have this fear that I'm going to have a class full of hooligans who are all running around like monkeys and that I won't be able to control them.  I hear kids are like dogs - they can smell fear.  I wish I could afford to go back to school for my Master's degree (which I want to do one day anyway).  Then I could just get my Masters in Education and get some training and experience and not have to be thrown into it blind.  I'm hoping I can fake it enough until I know what I'm doing.  I keep remembering what it was like when I was in school (so long ago...) and knowing it wasn't as bad as I'm imagining.  But then I remember that kids today just aren't like they were when I was their age.  My parents would never have blamed my teacher if I failed a class - they, and I, would have known it was my responsibility to pass the class.  I know it wasn't perfect - there were class clowns and bullies - but I can't help but feel like I'm getting in way over my head.  Eeek!  Do you remember in the movie Dangerous Minds how wild the class was when Michelle Pfeifer started teaching there?  She couldn't even handle it, and she's a former Marine!  I'm not nearly so assertive. And then there's Kindergarten Cop, where Arnold Schwarzenegger goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher - 30 hyper kids running around the room and screaming at the top of their lungs.  Those little monsters are going to eat me alive...

Then on the flipside of my anxiety, is my flowery dream-world, where I love teaching and all the students love me and everything is all fun and hunky-dory.  I'll be everyone's favorite teacher and I'll love going to work everyday and everything will be perfect.  Parents will rave about how much their child loves my class and how they can see the improvement in their child's life.  And on and on it can go.  Then of course I can't help but think of all the great blog fodder I'm bound to get teaching school, especially if I go with elementary school. 

Too bad the fear an anxiety is usually more powerful than the day-dreaming.  I think I'd rather go in there all naive and optimistic and have it not turn out so rosy than start out scared that it's going to be horrible and that I'm going to suck at teaching.  I'm really hoping that posting all this online will get most of it out of my system so I can starting being more realistic about it.  I know it won't be completely horrible or completely perfect, but somewhere in between.  I just don't want to be one of those first-year teachers who comes home crying at least once a week.