A Chocolate Named Eternity

I got sucked into an impulse buy while standing in line at Walmart this week after doing my grocery shopping.  There was a pretty little display of gourmet-style chocolate bars.  They caught my eye with their simple but elegant packaging, and the words "dark chocolate" and "cherry".  The chocolate lover in me squealed in delight. 

73% cocoa and cherry flavoring?  Sounded like a winning combination to me!  The little squares of chocolate were vaguely leaf-shaped, and even had veining just like real leaves do.  Such attention to detail was a good sign that this would be some darn good chocolate.  Did I mention this was Belgian chocolate?  It even had a name.  This flavor was called "Eternity".  Sounds promising, doesn't it?

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So today I finally get around to trying this chocolate bar.  I settle down in my chair and I'm so prepared to be an adult and savor my fancy new chocolate.  The wrapper is made from premium paper - not even a hint of a tear as I unfold it.  I break off a row of chocolate and then one single square. 

I bite into my fancy new chocolate and prepare to swoon over the yumminess that is cherry-flavored Belgian chocolate. 

My first response is confusion.  Is that a taste of anise seed??  Surely some vengeful chocolate maker hasn't ruined my chocolate bar with something that tastes like licorice.  I take another bite and realize that no, there isn't really any anise flavoring.  Whew!  But as I continue to taste the chocolate, paying close attention to every nuance of flavor and any aftertastes, I realize something strange.  I don't like this fancy, gourmet, cherry-flavored dark chocolate.  It doesn't taste like cherry.  It doesn't even taste like chocolate!  What is going on?  Did someone secretly swap my NewTree chocolate for a piece of an actual tree?  Like bark maybe? 

Maybe it's just because it's new.  Perhaps I need to just take a few more small bites to get used to the flavor in order to truly appreciate it.  I bravely attempt another nibble and let the chocolate melt on my tongue.  Nope.  Still gross. 

I'm awash in chocolate despair.  I can forgive a let-down driven by the absense of cherry essence.  But a chocolate bar should taste like chocolate!  I love dark chocolate.  I love cherries.  This chocolate bar should have been a slam dunk.  Is it the extra 3% of cocoa that ruins it for me?  I've never had any chocolate over 70% cocoa before.  I'm heartbroken to think that maybe it IS possible for something to be "too chocolatey".  I guess I'll just have to stick to my Super Chocolate Hot Cocoa and dark chocolate bars with 70% or less cocoa content. 

Have you ever tried any of the NewTree chocolate bars?  Did you like it?  Have you ever been supremely disappointed with a candy purchase you thought you were going to love?

Image found here.