Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Chocolate Named Eternity

I got sucked into an impulse buy while standing in line at Walmart this week after doing my grocery shopping.  There was a pretty little display of gourmet-style chocolate bars.  They caught my eye with their simple but elegant packaging, and the words "dark chocolate" and "cherry".  The chocolate lover in me squealed in delight. 
73% cocoa and cherry flavoring?  Sounded like a winning combination to me!  The little squares of chocolate were vaguely leaf-shaped, and even had veining just like real leaves do.  Such attention to detail was a good sign that this would be some darn good chocolate.  Did I mention this was Belgian chocolate?  It even had a name.  This flavor was called "Eternity".  Sounds promising, doesn't it?

Search for NewTree Chocolate

So today I finally get around to trying this chocolate bar.  I settle down in my chair and I'm so prepared to be an adult and savor my fancy new chocolate.  The wrapper is made from premium paper - not even a hint of a tear as I unfold it.  I break off a row of chocolate and then one single square. 

I bite into my fancy new chocolate and prepare to swoon over the yumminess that is cherry-flavored Belgian chocolate. 

My first response is confusion.  Is that a taste of anise seed??  Surely some vengeful chocolate maker hasn't ruined my chocolate bar with something that tastes like licorice.  I take another bite and realize that no, there isn't really any anise flavoring.  Whew!  But as I continue to taste the chocolate, paying close attention to every nuance of flavor and any aftertastes, I realize something strange.  I don't like this fancy, gourmet, cherry-flavored dark chocolate.  It doesn't taste like cherry.  It doesn't even taste like chocolate!  What is going on?  Did someone secretly swap my NewTree chocolate for a piece of an actual tree?  Like bark maybe? 

Maybe it's just because it's new.  Perhaps I need to just take a few more small bites to get used to the flavor in order to truly appreciate it.  I bravely attempt another nibble and let the chocolate melt on my tongue.  Nope.  Still gross. 

I'm awash in chocolate despair.  I can forgive a let-down driven by the absense of cherry essence.  But a chocolate bar should taste like chocolate!  I love dark chocolate.  I love cherries.  This chocolate bar should have been a slam dunk.  Is it the extra 3% of cocoa that ruins it for me?  I've never had any chocolate over 70% cocoa before.  I'm heartbroken to think that maybe it IS possible for something to be "too chocolatey".  I guess I'll just have to stick to my Super Chocolate Hot Cocoa and dark chocolate bars with 70% or less cocoa content. 

Have you ever tried any of the NewTree chocolate bars?  Did you like it?  Have you ever been supremely disappointed with a candy purchase you thought you were going to love?

Image found here.


  1. This is so sad. There is nothing worse than wanting, needing, good chocolate and being let down. Of course, the fact that you bought it at Wal*Mart might have something to do with it.

    I've never seen this Tree Bark chocolate in the stores but if I do I will not be tempted.

  2. I tried Target's version of gourmet chocolate. Very disappointing. I'll stick with Lindt and Tazo. And the occasional Cadbury Caramel egg.

  3. Jen - I know! And of course after I found out this chocolate wasn't good, I REALLY needed some awesome chocolate to make up for it. And I didn't have any. :(

    Theresa - I love the Cadbury Cream eggs, but I tried the caramel one this spring and hated it. It was something about the caramel that I didn't like. I kind of wish I had a Cadbury Cream egg right now, actually. Mmmm...

  4. I agree, anything over 70 percent cocoa is icky.

    I once discovered a chocolate soda in a can, and bought it, hoping it would be awesome. It was horrible.

    Have you tried York Pieces (like Reese's Pieces, but with York Peppermint)? Or Coconut M&Ms? Both are simply to die for. mmmmmm.

  5. Marvin - Chocolate soda? Ew. I don't even like YooHoo. I haven't tried the York Pieces, but I've seen them and wanted to try them. COCONUT M&Ms?? I've never heard of those! I would love to try them!