Earlier this year, back when it was still cold and the thought of a nice hot bowl of chili sounded really appetizing, I came upon a can of Ninja Beans. Actually, the beans weren't ninja - it was the can. They slyly sat on my shelf looking all innocent and harmless. The truth didn't come out until it was time to make the chili. The can - the perfectly round, undented, unflawed can - had a secret. Someone had been teaching this can how to master the art of unopenability. It meditated daily and practiced its newfound skills. If it could master these skills in time, it would be able to withstand even the sharpest and strongest of can openers!
Luckily for me, the can had not yet reached the master level, although it did give me a run for my money. (About $0.88.) I caught the can off guard with my trusty manual can opener. No fancy machines needed here! But soon the can called on its training and began to fight back. Suddenly the blade on my can opener was having no effect on the formerly weak metal. I squeezed the handles harder, and I cranked and cranked the can opener, all to no avail. Yet I was not about to give up! I tried to pry up the edge of the lid enough to pour out the beans, but too much of the lid was still holding firm. I needed to find a way to cut away more of the can. I was determined. I wanted my freaking chili, darn it! So I took my can opener and manhandled that can to the best of my abilities. I banged, and I twisted. I worked the sharp edge at a different angle against the can. By now the can was all kinds of warped and it was getting harder and harder to even reach the can anymore.
At this point, my mind had started to go fuzzy with frustration. There is a distinct possibility that I may have contemplated using my teeth. I might have considered throwing the can on the ground and stomping on it if I could have done so without the juice making a sloppy mess on my kitchen floor. Thankfully my perseverance paid off, and I was eventually able to to get enough of the lid loose so that I could pry it open and get the beans out of the can. So take THAT, you evil can of beans! I am victorious!
PS - The chili was awesome, and I didn't even starve to death before I could eat it.