Friday, January 22, 2010

Dream Day Friday! The Magic Scissors

Magic Scissors are awesome.  If I had a real pair of these, I'd be a cutting fool!  The idea for this was actually shop-lifted from a former coworker of mine.  She was from Russia, and I'm not sure if this was a fairy tale-type story that gets told to the Russian kids, or if she just made it up herself.  Either way, this is now one of my favorite day-dreaming tools! 

You're probably wondering what could be so great about a pair of scissors.  My friends, Magic Scissors are even better than having a genie in a magic lamp.  With these scissors, you can cut out pictures of things you want, and POOF!  Those objects are now real and in your possession!  Legally! Do you see a picture of a fabulous car that you'd love to own?  Just cut the picture out and it's all yours.  Do you see how much fun this could be? 

Now, according to my coworker's story, I think you are supposed to cut out the picture in its entirety.  But that's amateur day-dreaming.  You could seriously limit the possibilities with that rule.  What if the picture doesn't show the whole car? What if a third of the car is cut off the page?  Then you'd only get part of the car, and where's the fun in that?  So MY Magic Scissors have a few extra special qualities.  All you have to do is make a cut into the picture.  If the scissors cut any part of the picture of the object you want, it's yours.  This is also helpful if you find one picture of something you want, but you'd really like more than one.  Like money!  There are some things you just can't really use Magic Scissors to get, and you need actual money.  (I know, right?  What's this world coming to?)  In this case you can just trek on over to a magazine stand and find the financial magazines.  Flip through them until you find one with some good pictures of cash, and then buy that magazine.  (No stealing or cutting up magazines that don't belong to you!)  Then when you get home - or into your car, or as soon as you step away from the cash register - you can start slicing into the pictures of cash.  Being a practical person, I would like to have the Magic Scissors deposit the cash directly into my checking account.  Then I could just pop by the ATM whenever I needed cash.

And of course my Magic Scissors are intuitive and can sort of read my mind and know what I want.  So if I've got a friend who's been out of work and is struggling to pay the bills, I can slice into some money pictures and have my Magic Scissors magically deposit the cash into my friend's checking account.  I don't even need to know their bank account number or even where they bank.  My Magic Scissors will know all that for me.  Pretty sweet, huh?  Know what else?  The Magic Scissors know exactly what size clothes you wear, so if you find a fabulous item of clothing or a pair of shoes you just have to have, snip away and they will be yours, and a perfect fit no less.

One of my favorite ways to imagine using the Magic Scissors is when I'm flipping through the latest issue of Homes & Land and perusing the multi-million dollar estates in Hawaii.  I would make a little snip into one of the pictures, but my Magic Scissors will know I want the whole estate, not just that one shingle or the palm tree or whatever. Yet at the same time, if I want to Frankenstein an estate from parts of several different ones, I could do that too if I wanted. 

I love you, Magic Scissors!

Photo found here.


  1. What a fun thing that would be!

    I would be happy with a phaser. Why kill someone when you could just render them unconscious for awhile? They'd wake up with a nasty headache, and meanwhile you've solved whatever problem they were creating for you.

  2. Where is the 800 number, I've got my credit card out! What a great idea.

  3. Marvin - I think a phaser would be a nice tool to have on hand as well. I'll have to look into that for an upcoming Dream Day Friday post!

    Jen - If only that was all it took to find one of these beauties! We could consider a pair of electric Magic Scissors for those extended shopping sprees. :)