Dream Day Friday: Exercise Equipment (With a Kick!)

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever wished there was a bit of magic embedded in their exercise equipment.  It would make for a lot fewer machines being used as coat racks and clothes hangers, for sure.  I mean really, why do we have to burn 3,500 calories just to lose one measly pound of fat?  And using stationary bikes, elliptical machines, treadmills and the like can be so freaking boring!  When I'm ambitious enough to actually use my bike or treadmill, it can be really hard to do it with any enthusiasm unless I let my mind start daydreaming.  Most equipment has a display that tells you the time you've been exercising, the distance, and calories burned (however grossly inaccurate that last one may be!).  It's hard to feel like I'm making any difference when an hour walk on the treadmill barely burns 300-something calories. Gee, at this rate it'll only take 11 hours to burn off one pound of fat.  Oh, goody!  At least the stationary bike burns a few more calories - closer to 500 in a hour at my weight.  That whittles it down to only 7 hours per pound.  Can you see why I need some sort of more optimistic distraction to motivate myself? 

If I'm feeling particularly unfit, or if I've been eating really poorly, I might pretend that every five minutes on the bike is actually burning a full pound of fat.  And as I'm pedalling away, I'll imagine how handy that would be.  If I've been putting on weight or know I'm going to be stuffing my face with lots of yummy food (like around Thanksgiving or Christmas, for example!) I could just hop on the bike to melt away the fat.  Boo-yah!  And see how reasonable I'm being by wishing that I'd only burn 1 pound of fat in 5 minutes of exercise?  I could totally say 5 pounds in 1 minute.  But that would be silly!  Awesome Hawaiian vacation coming up?  Last year's swimsuit making me look like an overstuffed sausage?  No problem!  I'd just hop on my magic stationary bike and pedal, pedal, pedal until I'm all trim and svelte.  Think of the time this would save!  As much as I love food, especially anything bursting with sugar or chocolate, even maintaining a healthy weight seems to be a battle I will forever be falling behind in.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'd rather be a little bit overweight than give up yummy food.  So instead of spending hours and hours exercising and not having a whole heck of a lot to show for it, I could spend 15 to 20 minutes a week on the magic bike to maintain my weight, and still eat all the donuts and Mexican food I want!  And in case any of you are getting worried, my magic bike would not let me lose an unhealthy amount of weight.  I'd never have to worry about losing too much weight, because it would never let me go below whatever weight is healthiest for me.  See, I'm being responsible and reasonable again.  And it is a magic bike, after all.

Image found here.